Spaldings and Truflites

a tongue-in-cheek essay by Gary Ross Hoffman

Spaldings and Tru-Flites Spaldings and Tru-Flites Spaldings and Tru-Flites

My terrier was adept at finding tennis balls during our walks around the block. She'd find one every time. They would just be there, lying on someone's lawn. My border collie, on the other hand, never picked up tennis balls. He would, instead, find numerous golf balls at the park.

I never saw anyone playing tennis on his/her lawn, and I never saw anyone playing golf at the park. I thought, perhaps, that there were one or two really awful players out there, perpetually losing their stuff, but eventually the truth came to me.

Most people believe in the "Big Bang" theory of the creation of the universe. That is, the universe came into being in one incredible burst of energy and has been expanding ever since. But there is another theory, the "Steady State" theory, which says that the universe quietly creates and destroys itself continuously. Particles of matter disappear and are replaced elsewhere by new particles.

People accept that matter disappears all the time (car keys, favorite pens, the TV remote control, etcetera), but no one had any evidence that new matter came into existence. Until now. I believe that what I had mistaken for tennis balls and golf balls are new particles of matter spontaneously appearing in the universe.

The large fuzzy yellow particles, which Mary Holwager named Spaldings , appear in small, grassy areas (neighborhood lawns). The smaller, hard white particles, which she named Tru-Flites, appear in larger grassy areas (parks). I do not yet precisely understand the significance of these energy centers.

The evidence for a steady-state universe is clear. If you don't believe me, just take your dog for a walk.

© 2017 Gary Ross Hoffman
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